However it is here now!
I've not really done a post focused or mentioning mental health in a while and I feel like I wish to speak of it again after quite an interesting contrast of days.
I visited one of my friends the other day who I'd not had a catchup with in ages and I really enjoyed it and it was so lovely seeing her and I generally felt so happy afterwards and enjoyed it but one thing which did deter me was the overwhelming amount of anxious feelings I had.
And then yesterday, I visited another friend who I'd not seen in a while and I was expecting to feel nervous as Mother Nature was giving me some 'lovely' cramps prior to the reunion and on one of the two buses I took (not that she lived like in a different city or anything I just had to take two)
But it was really weird because I had pretty much 0 anxious feelings throughout that whole time seeing her, even when I was travelling on the second bus and not knowing 100% where I was getting off as last time I'd gone to her house she'd been there and basically took me.
This time I got lost and wasn't sure where I was going which you'd think would set a bit of anxiety off but it didn't?
I'm not going to lie I did have like slight anxious thoughts but I didn't have the tipping of my stomach or the butterflies or anything which normally sets me off into a bad place.
It just leads me to say that it is true about having good days and bad days. Some days you will be able to do things and some days you will struggle. It can be quite irritating as if you agree to something in a good day where you've done and accomplished something and then struggle with whatever you've agreed to on the day, but it can be extremely uplifting when you do manage to do something.
I know sometimes I push and push to make myself do something anyway, if I know it will mean a lot to someone. That doesn't mean it's easy because it's not, I just have to somehow keep myself going.
Like the time All Time Low did a signing and my best friend has loved them for ages and she asked me to go with her and I knew I could not disappoint. However I was extremely ill that day, with an awful cold that in the first half of the day, left me with difficulty standing without feeling dizzy. And I knew I had to stand in a queue or however long for the signing. Because I felt ill, I was feeling very very anxious the whole day.
I had anxious feelings over the signing itself because I'd never been to one before and I knew there would be busy crowds and especially with how I'd been feeling earlier on in the day I had no idea how I was going to do it.
Still to this day, I don't really know how I managed to do it.
I was standing in the queue panicking but still stayed there and went and it was great, even though my throat was so sore by that point!
I think the reason I managed to do it was because I knew how much it meant to my friend and it would have honestly broken her if she'd not been able to go. That's the only thing I can think of as to how I did it because I still can't even believe I stayed considering how much of a state I was in with my cold and anxiousness. I tried not to let it show either as you can't really be in a negative mood when you're with your best friend about to meet her favourite band can you? And honestly, I really like All Time Low too, they were lovely and they even performed a few tracks too and it was pretty fantastic really!
And in terms of the last couple of days for me, I don't quite know how they were so different? But hey, I am quite happy with how I handled it.
So to sum this blog post up, I guess I'll say that it is okay to have good days and bad days, that is part of things. Do your best in whatever you are going through and always remember to take care of yourself. I think through the bad days you have to keep your focus that there will be other opportunities for good days and try and keep your spirits up. Have a hot chocolate, have a relaxing bath, listen to your favourite songs, do whatever you know will boost your mood in a positive way!
Love & hugs