It's the end of the year and therefore time for my annual 'Let's Reflect' post. Even though there was a lot of different things to discuss last year, I feel like there's still some big points I want to mention in this year's. 2017 has been a rollercoaster with many, many opportunities of growth for me and a selection of new friends along the way too.
As I mentioned last year, I started university. I managed to continue the rest of the year and was so shocked to have completed my first year of uni! It seems distant now but even though I'm currently in second year, there's a few aspects of first year that I miss.
I passed First Year and felt somewhat proud to have done that, seeing as I've not always got the best grades. I really want to get a couple more firsts in my assignments for second year, but we shall see how that goes...
In terms of uni, I'm a little more relaxed on attending lectures and seminars however I still try to push myself to go to as many as possible, as I do end up feeling guilty if I don't. I definitely feel more comfortable being away from home than I did towards the end of 2016 and proud that I managed to build a life in a completely new fresh environment.
One of my other big memories of 2017, would be Final Fling, an event our university held to celebrate the end of the academic year. The weather was so nice, even a little bit too boiling at times, and I was able to watch S Club, Pendulum, Fuse ODG and Rewire and Varski. It's actually probably one of my favourite days of 2017, I enjoyed it so much and it brings back good memories. I controlled my anxiety well that day too.
Another big mention of 2017, would be that I got into my very first relationship. It wasn't something I really expected to happen to me, but I'm lucky enough to be with someone who tries to understand my anxiety and supports and cares for me and makes me laugh. He's supportive of my blog too which definitely helped me with my confidence towards it and another aspect I appreciate.
Speaking of my blog, I know I've not really given it the attention it deserves this year, but in September when I began my second year of uni, my module meant I had to keep a blog and because I didn't really want this one to be scrutinised, I adapted a lifestyle blog which is still online and you can read here. From carrying on this blog as part of uni and generally speaking a bit more about my blogs, I've found myself being a bit more confident with it, which is a complete turnaround from last year. I'm not the most confident in my writing and this blog in general as I'm fully aware there's bigger and prettier blogs out there, but I do really enjoy writing it and planning posts etc. Hopefully I can carry this on into 2018 and really push on with it.
Despite finishing 1st Year on a high, my summer did have a shaky start as my dad became very unwell just days before we were going on a family holiday. I still feel a little weird when I think about that day because it was one of the most scared I'd ever been but I'm so thankful to the NHS and in particular the doctors and the surgeon that, to be honest, saved his life.
One of my bigger achievements I'd say would be visiting my best friend in Chester. Ever since she went there for university in 2015, I've wanted to go and visit her but sadly my anxiety always held me back and I never went through with my plans. However, when she persuaded me to come to Chester as SacconeJolys were taking their book signing there, I simply knew I had to go.
I'm really proud of myself for going there as my anxiety can really suffer travelling/not being at home and even though I could feel myself triggering at some point, I managed to keep on top of it somehow and for that I'm proud of. Looking back I had a really amazing time, especially the night out and I know that I couldn't do that a year/2 years ago so that's definitely something good. I did a post about this on my uni blog, so if you'd like to have a read of that you can do here.
It brings me on to meeting The SacconeJolys. If you've read my blog for a while you will know I'm a huge fan of them and they got me through the dark patch I went through when I first joined uni in 2016. They are so entertaining to watch and I really like them. Meeting them was amazing, if a little nerve-wracking once the moment finally came. I've loved them for a few years now so it was so good to see them and it made that weekend even more special for me.
One of the other things which has changed for me during 2017, was moving out of student accommodation and into a house, I share with other students who are my housemates. I only knew one other person as she's one of my good friends from my uni course but I'm really glad to have met my 3 other housemates as they're very funny and canny. We had a Halloween party for Halloween and it was a really lovely night where we all got to socialise together and surprisingly I actually really liked my makeup for it still even from looking back at photos!
I also turned 21 this year, which I can't quite believe as I do not feel 21 but I had a fab night with one of my best friends and thankfully we did hear Destiny's Child (so a bit of Beyoncé didn't go amiss!)
Another change in me I'd say during 2017 has been my ambition to throw myself into life more. I've tried to do more and socialise more with the people I care about and try not to let anxiety stop me. I can't say it's been easy but it's been something I've definitely been more aware of and something I've done my best to do.
Unfortunately, my 2017 hasn't ended on a positive note, as sadly one of my favourite people, my gran, passed away just before Christmas. She was such a funny and brilliant person and I will miss her always, as I mentioned she was one of my favourite people in the whole world. It unfortunately also means I'm grandparentless now, which is a very sad thought to think about. If you still have your grandparents with you, please treasure them especially during 2018.
Despite all of the good and bad, 2017 has brought me a lot of new experiences and I can only hope and pray that 2018 allows me to continue growing as a person and is good to me and my loved ones. I hope to make amazing memories in 2018 too!
I hope you've enjoyed this very lengthy discussion about my 2017.
Happy New Year and I wish you all a very amazing 2018.
Love & hugs,